The Lotus Queen
by Luminoscity
Summary: It's been four years after the war, and everyone has drifted apart, Katara and Aang most notably, but when a strange spirit world dream causes them to meet again, it also brings together three fates and a very strong way.  Zutara-rated M for language etc
1. Chapter 1

Katara blinked rapidly and gazed around the lakefront where she stood. All around the understated beach were lush trees and dense undergrowth. It was misty and had the shiny overtones of a dream. But something was off, she could feel it. She had dreams often enough, it was normal for her but this one felt different. It was sharper, and something within her own self felt different as well. Experimentally she reached out to the water in front of her and tried to bend it. Nothing too complicated, only a light water whip, but the water didn't answer her call. Her bending was gone. She was in the spirit world. That made no sense. She'd never gone here before and the only person she knew who could transcend the barrier between worlds was Aang, whom she hadn't seen in nearly a year. He was the only cause she could think of for her to be in the spirit world at all. Cautiously she called out.

"Aang?"

Her voice rang out startlingly loud across the water and echoed back at her emptily. A flurry of goose bumps erupted on her arms at the absolute stillness. She wanted out of here, and she wanted out _now._

"Why are you doing this to me?"

Katara gasped and whipped around, searching for the source of the woman's voice that had come from nowhere. Her heart sprang to life under her breastbone, fluttering like a panicked bird. There was no one, anywhere in sight.

"You are cruel beyond measure. I can only hope that you will see it returned onto you one day. Take good care of them. Him especially." The woman's voice cracked a bit at that.

"Hello?" Katara called. She was fighting the very frustrating sensation of being afraid and confused all at once and tried again to locate the source of the voice, this time peering out over the lake. In the distance she could see the outline of a woman in a red robe. Very vague and almost gauzy looking.

For the first time, the woman was answered, by a deep, slightly raspy bass.

"They will be cared for."

The woman answered him calmly. "You were always the perfect liar..."

The red silhouette faded out in a rolling could of gray mist and Katara fought back a scream as she hurtled downward into velveteen blackness.

….

Katara gasped audibly and immediately rolled onto her side, curling into herself and breathing rapidly. Her hands grasped her sheets, clean sheets made of light cotton, the same sheets she slept under the night before, and most definitely not spirit world sheets. She let go of them with shaking hands and sat up, fighting to calm her racing heart.

"What in the name of all spirits was that?" She wondered aloud. Shaking her head she swung her legs out of bed and made her way, rather shakily, down the hall to the modest bathhouse that was attached to the small bungalow where she was staying. She quickly dispatched the simple wrappings that she slept in and slid into the heated water, letting the treated bathwater wash up over her head, rinsing her off completely.

Her dream made no sense at all. She had never been to the spirit world, and had never even thought of going there, and the only person she could think of who would make her being in the spirit world rational was Aang, and he was off traveling. He hadn't been in her dream at all. Katara frowned at the water and began to wash up, first her body then her hair. It took her a while to lather her waist-length hair completely but she made sure it was thoroughly washed before rinsing off and getting out. Just as she bent the last of the water from her hair and skin and began to don her wrappings she heard the door bang open at the far end of the house.

"Sweetness! Rise and shine!"

Toph entered the bathhouse without knocking just as Katara tightened the final strap on her wrappings. She paused briefly and cocked her head, letting her long onyx braid to fall over one shoulder. "You feel kind of shaky Katara. Bad dreams?"

Katara moved past Toph and into her bedroom, dressing in close fitting black pants and a blue and white tunic that settled close to her hips as she recounted her dream exactly. "I don't understand it at all", she said gathering her hair into a low pony tail. "I've never been to the spirit world before, and I don't see why I would be going there now. Toph studied her nails as she leaned against the doorframe. Katara pulled on her sandals and studied the earthbender absently. Three years had passed since the end of the war, and Toph had changed quite a bit. She shot up in height, and now at fifteen she was only a little shorter than Katara. She'd filled out a lot too, growing into a figure that drew more than just a little attention these days, and to complete the picture she'd brought her hair down and begun to leave it in a long braid, one that nearly reached her hips.

It saddened Katara that she'd been the one to watch Toph grow into a young woman while her family still wouldn't speak to her. The war may have been over but some things never changed...

"I think you need to talk to Aang about this Katara."

She flinched. "I don't see why we have to bring him into this, I mean it only happened this once, and nothing _bad_ happened."

"However you feel about Twinkle Toes is none of my business, but randomly travelling into the spirit world isn't normal. You need to tell someone who knows about the spirit world, and the only person in the world who has that sort of knowledge is Aang."

"I appreciate the concern Toph but I'm sure it's nothing." She made to move past the door but Toph stopped her dead, planting one hand firmly on her shoulder, in a grip like iron.

"Don't risk yourself just because you had a nasty breakup. He's still your friend. If you won't write him I will."

Katara's stomach clenched at that.

"Fine." She conceded. "I'll send him a messenger Hawk after we work on the Canals."

Toph smiled. "Good. Now move it, we haven't got all day!"

…

The modest Earth Kingdom village had barely begun to stir as Toph and Katara made their way towards the south end of town, towards the river. Not long after Aang left, Katara had accepted an invitation from Toph to come help her build canals for trade and irrigation throughout the Earth Kingdom. They needed powerful benders to complete all the canals before harvesting season. Katara volunteered, to get away from the ice and snow for a while, which, she had found in her travels, wore her down quite a bit after a few months. Escaping her father's concerned stares and the memories of Aang that littered the place like freshly fallen snow didn't hurt either. It was a welcome change. She loved the warmth of the Earth Kingdom summer, and she enjoyed the work she was doing with the canals. She was doing what she loved: Helping people, and bending. And the simplicity of the life she had here was a soothing balm after the turbulent years the war had left.

The overseers looked up from their tables and plans as the two young women approached. The Head overseer, Leng smiled and came over to Katara, who bowed slightly. She may have been a water bending master, but Leng was a master in his own right, and she paid due respect. Gran Gran had taught her manners if nothing else. As if to prove Gran Gran had made no impact at all on her, Toph responded to Leng's approach by spitting off to the side and offering her hand brusquely.

Katara didn't know whether to laugh or cringe.

Leng merely smiled and took her hand, not even flinching at her, no doubt, crushing handshake. "Good morning to you Masters Katara and Toph, I trust you slept well?"

He focused completely on her, which she supposed made sense to him, because Toph was blind, but to her it seemed more than a little rude. She was so used to treating Toph as if she could see (which she could in her own way), that when other people treated her differently it seemed kind of offensive. Nonetheless she gave Leng a smile for his efforts. "Very well thank you. Now where are we starting today?"

Leng flinched, ever so slightly at her change of subject but changed pace without a missed beat.

"I've marked where we'll be starting just over here. You can push back the water whenever you're ready and my earthbenders will send tremors along the lines where Master Toph needs to make the channel."

Katara nodded and he went back to his worktable to briefly confer with his benders. Beside her, Toph snickered and nudged Katara with her elbow. "Leng has a serious thing for you Katara."

She blinked, taken aback. "Huh?"

Toph nodded a wicked, all too familiar, grin on her face. "His heart jumps like a kangaroo-rabbit whenever he sees you. He definitely wants a piece of the waterbending action."

Katara wrinkled her nose and looked back at Leng who was now pointing to a place on one of his many diagrams. He wasn't bad looking, she supposed, but nothing at all about him stood out at all. He was blandly handsome, with brown hair, off in a topknot, light brown eyes and a fine facial structure. Not exactly hideous, but Katara found him to be utterly unappealing. Toph snickered once again. "Poor Leng. He wouldn't stand a chance against all the other men you have to choose from. Haru, the social revolutionist, (and mustache revolutionist), The Avatar, The Fire Lord"-

Katara flushed and smacked Toph on the side of her head. "Can it motor mouth, here they come."

They followed Leng's earthbenders to the aforementioned spot on the side of the river. Katara waded out to her hips, anchoring herself firmly against the swift current before centering her chi and going to work. In one grand motion she swept her arms upward, then out to the side, parting the water like a comb through a head of hair, then, reaching deep she centered herself, and gripped hard on the currents of the mighty river and staying them, while she waited for Toph to make the first furrows of the canal. Her arms didn't move an inch as sweat beaded on her hairline, but finally she felt a nudge beneath her feet, signaling her release the water a bit and move backward. Carefully, she let the waters at the far bank continue to flow but held on to the part she kept on the other half of the river. Then she moved back into the perfectly cut furrow of the new canal. They continued on like this for a while until Katara's arms shook and sweat poured down her back. Toph finally gave her the signal to get out of the canal for a break. Relieved, Katara released the water and let it rush over her, letting it wash away all the sweat and grime on her skin before lifting herself out of the river on a wave and bending herself dry.

"It must be nice to have a makeshift bath whenever you want." Toph grumbled. The girl was breathing heavily and she looked as sweaty as Katara had previously been. The waters beneath them lapped happily against the makeshift dam Toph made to stem the flow for a break. Katara shrugged. "I could give you a bath right now if you want, one of the many perks of having a waterbending best friend." She grinned and wriggled her fingers at Toph who made a face of disgust.

"I don't trust you to brush my hair, why would I let you waterbend me clean?"

She grinned. "Who said anything about let?" Just as she raised her hands however, Toph started and turned her head towards town, not at all concerned with Katara's threat.

"What is it?"

"I don't think you'll have to write Aang after all."

Katara turned and felt her stomach twist as a figure she'd know anywhere made its way toward them. Aang. Her heart sank, twisted, and then went completely numb.

…

Everyone assumed it would be her who broke Aang's heart. She felt it in their stares, their whispers, there smirks. It was no one person in particular, it was everyone. Everywhere they went. No one expected faithfulness out of a water tribe girl, not to mention a water tribe girl that looked like _that_. Katara resented it as she and Aang travelled the world, patching up what Ozai left behind ever so slowly. She grew desperate after an incident with some teenage girls in a small Earth village who'd called her horrible names, so she went to Aang and told him what she'd been dealing with. He brushed it off with a smile and a shrug and told her she was imagining things.

"Oh so I imagined that girl calling me a piss-bending slut?" she recalled screaming at him.

He had frowned slightly and looked at the ground. "It was only one girl Katara. I think you're overreacting."

That was the night she'd stopped speaking to him. They went for weeks like that; Aang chattering blindly at her, assuming she'd let up, but it wasn't his mindless chatter she wanted. She wanted an apology, she wanted him to stand up to these people and defend her. It wasn't like she couldn't take care of herself, but a relationship didn't depend on just one person. Aang seemed to overlook that.

One night, at the Fire Nation Capitol she'd had enough, and decided she wanted to talk to him, to work out whatever dark thing had sprung up between them.

He'd wandered off somewhere in the district where they were staying. Zuko had offered them a room at the palace but for some odd reason Aang had said no.

Katara remembered Zuko pulling her aside as Aang chatted up one of his ministers.

"Is he alright? Is he upset with me at all?" he inquired in a low tone, leaning close over her so they wouldn't be overheard. Katara looked on at Aang, considering Zuko's question.

"I'm not sure, but it's nothing you did or said. If anything it's my fault…"

Zuko leaned back and cocked an eyebrow, bringing a flush of cool air against Katara's warm cheeks. Firebenders always gave off an extraordinarily high body temperature.

"Trouble in paradise?" He inquired just as quietly as before.

Katara blushed in earnest. "No…I don't know…If someone insulted Mae, you'd stand up for her wouldn't you? Not to say that Mae couldn't defend herself, but if you care for someone you'd defend them right?"

She lifted her eyes to meet his and he looked back thoughtfully. "Absolutely. I mean, if you'd give your life for someone, it would be natural to at least give them a few words in their defense."

To her surprise he sounded a bit angry. His eyes slanted down into a frown and he was no longer looking at her. Katara followed his gaze and saw Mae standing across the courtyard from them. Katara raised her hand to wave but the other woman simply walked away.

_Trouble in paradise?_ She thought. _What's up with them?_

"Thanks Zuko." She said, breaking him out of his reverie. "I guess I'll try talking to him again and work this out."

He nodded. "Come to me if you guys need anything."

That night she wandered the streets of the middle district, searching all over for Aang. Where had he gone? He simply disappeared after dinner, while she'd meditated. She was used to his wanderings but he wasn't apt to disappear like this.

"Aang..."

Katara jumped at the small, feminine voice saying her lover's name from somewhere off to her right. A rock seemed to settle deep in her gut. She took a step towards the alleyway where she heard the vice coming from but, a soft sigh that emanated from it made her falter.

_It can't be. He would never-…would he?_

Feeling as if she were about to vomit, the waterbender softly stepped up to the corner of the alleyway and peered around it. What she saw made her go numb from the crown of her head down to the tips of her toes.

Aang, and the adorable girl from the tea shop she and Aang had stopped at on their first day here, pressed against the wall. He held her flush against him, his face buried in her neck, ands gripping the backs of her thighs. The girl's eyes were closed, her mouth parted ever so slightly. What was her name? Ling? Lee? She didn't stick around to find out from his unknowing mouth. Katara ran.

She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, which was surprisingly far after all these years of training. She ended up on the other side of the city, at the palace gates. The guards let her bolt past them without a word, knowing her for who she was. Panting and sweating and shaking, Katara collapsed to her knees on the Palace steps. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, but some time later, footsteps approached her softly, and the Fire Lord sat down beside her. He was dressed simply in loose black pants and a sashed red vest. Just like when they travelled together that fateful summer. His hair was down. It should've been a comfort to see him like this but it wasn't. The numbness stayed.

"Katara?"

She didn't flinch away as his hands brushed away the tears that had been running down her cheeks. How long had she been crying? Humiliated she bent the tears away with a flick of her fingers and drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly.

"Katara what's wrong? Where's Aang? Is he hurt?"

A poisonous feeling spiked up in her heart. "I'm sure fucking that tea serving bitch can't hurt that badly." She spat, surprising herself with the vehemence of her words. She rarely, if ever swore. Apparently Zuko was taken aback too. His hand dropped and his eyes flickered darkly.

"I…I would never expect that of him." He said cautiously.

She said nothing and they just sat in each other's company for a while, Katara staring silently at the steps below her, and Zuko staring at her. After a bit, she spoke again, this time more gently.

"I can't believe he would cheat on me, but you know what makes it worse?"

Zuko shook his head, gold eyes intent on her own. She blushed and looked away, not able to look him in the eye as she told him.

"After almost a year together and him pining after me like he did…Aang would never touch me like I saw him touching her. He never kissed me like that, we never even-"She stopped and felt a blush spread hotly up to her ears, and felt embarrassed tears prick at her eyes again.

"What's wrong with me?" She whispered.

She blinked in surprise as his hand; almost scorching against her freezing one interlaced itself with her fingers, while he again brushed away tears from her face.

"Nothing Katara. I can't imagine for a second why he would do this to you. I'm so sorry."

His voice was quiet, husky as always, and honest. She believed him. The numbness receded.

The next morning she left on a ferry to the Earth Kingdom, leaving Zuko a brief letter to give to Aang, and a promise that she would write him once she reached Toph. She hadn't spoken to Aang since.

…

**First Zutara fic! R&R if you please, and things heat up next chapter so stick around!**


	2. Chapter 2

Toph ran full-tilt towards Aang, throwing her arms around his neck and laughing happily as Aang spun her around. He laughed too. He looked more tan than he had a year ago, and he'd also neglected to shave in his travel here. Both his head and chin were rough with dark stubble. There was a grin on his face that split his face stunningly. She'd never seen him this…vibrant before.

She stood back while he and Toph talked, arms crossed, brow ever so slightly furrowed. They smiled at each other, gave light touches and started talking eagerly to one another. They were friends, as they always had been. Katara didn't know if she would ever have that word applied to her and Aang again. She wondered if they would ever regain the familiarity they once had, the one he now shared so closely with Toph. She was thinking about this so closely she hadn't noticed that Toph was pointing to her now and saying something, that is, until Aang made his way over to her. Startled, she took a step back as he stopped in front of her, ignoring the pained look that flashed across his face.

They stood across from each other, silently appraising each other. Katara kept her expression carefully blank but Aang as always wore his heart on his sleeve, and in this case all over his face. His eyes swam with hurt and pleaded with her own. She didn't blink. He broke the silence first.

"Katara…"

Sickeningly enough he still said her name the same, as a gentle, all important, prayer.

"Aang." She replied calmly. "What brings you to the Earth Kingdom so late in the summer? I would have thought you were going north by now." The cool overtones in her words warred with the heat surging within her. It mostly consisted of anger, but there were deep ribbons of hurt swirling within the mire as well. He opened his mouth as if to speak but she could feel the emotional tirade he was about to lay down on her. She saw it in the set of his shoulders, in the sad look in his eyes. She knew this trick all too well. Quickly she twisted the front of his tunic into her hand and yanked him down close to her face, with a strength that surprised her. He smelled like windblown heat and sweet grass. He was close enough to her that her lips nearly brushed his own as she hissed at him.

"You will not cause a scene here. If you do I'll never speak to you again Aang. Do you hear me?"

He pulled out of her grasp roughly and looked down at the ground, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "I need to talk with you alone anyway." He said quietly.

"I need to talk with you too. Come on."

She didn't map out where she was taking him but her feet managed well enough on her own and she found herself in a wide glade in the forest just beyond town borders. The grass was tall and almost silvery in the final throes of summer and it gave off a gentle scent that was excruciatingly similar to Aang's. He was so familiar to her and now he was barely a stranger to her. When had he gotten so tall? Did he always have that hard line to his mouth? Who else had he met that was so much more touchable than her? They stood across from each other in the meadow for a long time staring at each other as if their eyes could search out everything their words couldn't.

"Was she prettier than me?" Katara said finally.

Aang flushed predictably. "Katara it was never about that."

"Then tell me what it was about Aang because I'm really confused. Every time I put my mouth on you, you decided to play innocent monk with me so I'd back off and then you run off into some alley to hike up a tea server's skirt? That makes no sense."

"It was an accident."

"You accidentally fell all over her?"

"Will you just let me speak?" He snapped, with such ferocity that Katara was struck silent. Wherever Aang had gone for the year he's picked up some tenacity along the way. He paced the length of the glade and dropped his glider on the edge of the trees so he could fidget with his hands. "I went for a walk that night to clear my head about everything, what you said to me about those people harassing you and me not taking you seriously and then you not speaking with me. Everything. I was trying to sort it all out and I heard someone cursing around the side of the tea shop so I went to see. She was trying to stack some crates and they were about to fall so I lent her a hand. She just leaned up and kissed me like it was nothing. I let it get away from me and it got out of hand. By the time I realized what I was doing and ran to find you, you were nowhere to be found. I figured you'd gone to visit with Mae or Zuko and stayed the night so I went to sleep and went to find you the next morning but you were gone." He paused for a moment. "As soon as Zuko saw me he came across the room and punched me right in the face." Another pause, this one longer, and he glanced at her for a measured second before continuing. "After that he called me a cheating son of a bitch and helped me up to give me your letter. And I haven't heard form you since then."

"I don't know why you would expect anything more from me." She told him quietly while she fought back the urge to cry.

"I didn't. That's why I didn't come looking for you either. I hurt you, deeply enough that I can still see it in you. I'm sorry."

"Never again Aang. I'll never be with you again, can you see that?"

"I understand."

There was silence again but with less wound up tension behind it and Katara no longer felt the need to stand with her arms crossed and her fists clenched. Things could never be the same between them, they both knew that deep down. Their foul attempt at a relationship and Aang's foolishness had broken that line with resolute permanence but their friendship it seemed could be salvaged.

"So what else did you come to talk to me about?" She asked.

He sat down in the grass and she did the same across from him. The blades were almost shockingly cool against her skin compared to the brutal heat of the air around her. She felt the water settling within them and was almost tempted to draw it out to cool her parched throat but as soon as the idea passed she dismissed it. Such precise bending used to get a drink of water seemed too much like Hana, a memory that still bit into her from time to time. Her hands rested placidly in her lap. A drink would have to wait she decided.

"I saw you in the spirit world last night, I saw everything."

Stunned, Katara's jaw dropped. "You were there?"

He nodded. "Yes. I couldn't move and after you left a very old spirit visited me. He told me I needed to send you to the Fire Nation, and as to why he couldn't say. The only thing he told me was that the matter was very close to the heart of the Fire Lord and that you were vital to the matter."

Knowing very little about the spirits since their legends were few and far between Katara's curiosity piqued. "An old spirit? What does that have to do with me? Or Zuko for that matter?"

Aang shrugged. "He came to me in the guise of a bird, an eagle I think and told me that and then he just flew off. But I could feel his power…it was immense. I don't know what it has to do with you or Zuko exactly but I don't think a spirit as old as that would send a message to a mortal that easily without a very good reason."

"So a cryptic old bird told you that I need to go to the Fire Nation because of Zuko?"

"Basically."

"That's not exactly a whole lot to go on." She pointed out dryly. "What am I supposed to do when I get there? Sit pretty and have tea parties with Mae until destiny unravels?"

He put his hadns up as if in surrender. "Hey don't look at me. I'm just the messenger."

"I guess I'll have to think about it then."

…

That night she Toph and Aang got pleasantly drunk on a sturdy Earth Kingdom wine while swapping stories of the past year they'd been apart. Katara announced that Sokka and Sukki were expecting to wed in the spring when it would thaw and they could have a genuine Water Tribe wedding. Toph curled up with laughter at the thought of the Kyoshi warriors in dresses being demure little bridesmaids. Aang took hearty swigs and told them of rebellions he'd put down on the very western edge of the Earth Kingdom which took him nearly six months to completely eradicate and Toph told the sloppy mechanics of her progress in metal bending. Aang and Toph gradually gravitated to each other and talked closely of earth bending form until Katara simply left them, fell into bed and immediately went into a dark, heavy slumber.

"Your people have always been stubborn." The voice was deep but almost eerily smooth and it resounded hugely in Katara's head almost to the point of pain. She gasped and swiveled around to see an enormous bird gazing down at her with immense amber eyes from its massive stone perch a few feet away from her. It was undoubtedly an eagle, but instead of the blacks or browns she was used to, this bird was a stunning white color.

Katara tilted her chin proudly. "Stubborn are we? It's how we've survived this long as a people."

The bird blinked and ruffled his feathers, which made a sound like a wave washing ashore. "Yes it would take a stubborn people to live and thrive in the coldest climates on earth, and not only that but, to produce some of the most powerful benders on earth? Fascinating. Twi and La were always quite taken with you but I never saw the merit with waterbenders. For a time at least."

Her hackles rose considerably. "And yet you find yourself in need of one?"

She nearly heard the smile in his voice. "It would seem so Master Katara."

She never understood how Aang could tolerate these cryptic beings. Vague hints and hidden meanings were all well and good but after a while it got to be downright irritating.

"Who are you?" She demanded. Her body was wired for a fight before she again recalled that she had no bending in this world. Wearily she eyed talons the length of her forearm and took a cautious step back. Again, she could have sworn the bird was smiling.

"I have as many names as you have hairs on your head, but in this land they call me Fate. I am speaking to you now as an ally because I must; the Fire Nation is in a unique kind of peril, with the Fire Lord himself on the line. His future is at stake and you are the one that can guide him through it. You must journey to the Fire Nation at once."

"Why?"

The eagle spread its wings once more and screeched, a horrible sound that convinced Katara that her ears had dissolved and melted into the side of her head, never to be used again.

"Don't question me girl! This is business beyond your reckoning! Fire Lord Zuko is your friend is he not?"

"Yes." She whispered from her position, kneeling on the hard-packed earth. Her hands were pressed over her aching ears but his voice still swam in her head. "Zuko is my friend."

"Then go to him, because he needs you. Would you rather see his kingdom fall?" He snapped, literally clicking his beak at her.

"No." She breathed. The pressure around them was crushing her, she was sure of this. She was going to die in this place.

"Go now, and leave as soon as you wake. You seek the Fire Lord, and from there Ursa. Ursa, the Lotus Queen. I'll be keeping tabs on you now and again."

She drifted into darkness once more, with a clear image of Zuko's face accompanying her as she went.

…..

"S-Sweetness?" Toph said between huge yawns as she stumbled into Katara's doorway. Her hair was loose from its braid and tangled into a knot on the side of her head from where she must have fallen asleep on the floor. She also smelled strongly of the liquor they'd downed last night. Katara set down her rucksack she'd been packing and went over the attempt to untangle Toph's mess of hair. "Why the pp-packing?" She inquired through another huge yawn, idly swatting at Katara's nimble fingers.

"I…Zuko sent word last night that he needs me to help him find someone. Someone important."

"You? Why you Sweetness?" the sleepy quality of Toph's voice diminished considerably and Katara cursed her inability to lie efficiently.

"You're not telling me the truth Katara." The earthbender said softly, going completely still. Katara sighed and finally freed the last tangle before beginning to ease it into a braid.

"I can't tell you everything. It involves spirits and somehow Zuko needs me. He hasn't sent word to me at all about it but other-"She thought of the giant ill-tempered eagle spirit and frowned. "I have other sources that tell me he needs me for some reason.

"Does this have to do with the dream you had?"

She sighed. "Aang knows some of it but I'd prefer this stay a secret. I don't know exactly what's going on here. And do me a favor and don't let Aang know I'm gone until he wakes up." She tied off the braid and Toph stood to face her, her face set into a stubborn scowl.

"Send word as soon as you get to the Fire Nation and let me know everything you can as soon as you can. If you don't, I'll have to do something obscure and violent to you…like try to earthbend your face or something." She let out the last part with a growl and a halfhearted smirk. The two young women embraced each other as any two sisters would and Katara gave Toph a parting kiss on the forehead before swinging her legs out the window and dropping out of sight.

….

"What's the matter my Lord? Tired of playing guessing games."

"Be _quiet_." Zuko hissed. Flames danced out the corners of his mouth as he said this showing just how angry he truly was. Ozai cackled eerily similar to the way his daughter did deep in the underground cell where she was bound day and night to keep from hurting herself with her firebending. Zuko thought of the way her body arched unnaturally against her restraints as she howled and shuddered openly.

"I'm sorry my Lord, do I disturb you in some way?" Zuko snarled and slammed his hand against the cell door, letting fire burst out of his palms and past his father's face. Ozai merely grinned.

It had been like this ever since the day Zuko asked his father the same question they'd now been rehashing for a year and a half. _"__Where__is__my__mother?__"_ His father was beyond reason and Zuko knew that, had known it since the day he asked and Ozai spat in his face. Literally. It had smelled of sulfur. This didn't keep him from the dogged pursuit of his mother. When he wasn't interrogating agents and scouring libraries he was down here trying to wrestle information out of his father which was about as easy as prying a bone away from a rabid bear-dog. And when he wasn't seeking out his mother he was running a country that was on economic stilts and on the brink of very nasty civil unrest. Civil war would be next if he didn't do something in the next couple of years. And then of course there was Mae. The thought of her sent a spike of a headache through his right temple and he gritted his teeth. "I'll be back. Think about the consequences if you refuse me."

"What consequences?" Ozai sneered.

Zuko's jaw twitched and he swept out of the dimly lit cell room, grabbing his cloak as he went. The guard nodded to him as he left and slammed the door after him. "Good day, Fire Lord Zuko." He said. Zuko heard the youth behind the voice and felt a jolt as he realized that even though he was only nineteen, people looked up to him. He was a leader. He was the Fire Lord. He turned and saluted the young soldier with a fist over his heart. "Good day soldier." The young boy gaped openly but Zuko didn't stay to hear his thanks. He hurried away out of the Tower as quickly as he could and threw up the hood of his cloak as he went. He wasn't in his formal uniform at all; in fact he was dressed in nothing but loose pants and a sleeveless red shirt, and now his nearly black crimson cloak. Training clothes at best. He knew Mae would look at him like he just rolled in mud and came traipsing into the palace but he didn't care. He didn't want just anyone to know about his regular visits to the Tower so he dressed as inconspicuously as he could.

He padded through the palace, moving through the secret shadowed places with the ease of a cat taking short cuts until he was at his own chambers and slipped inside quickly.

"Where have you been Zuko?" A familiar raspy voice inquired idly from a divan near the terrace. As always she was swathed in royal garments and immobile, seemingly immersed in a book, but the way she snapped her head to the door when he entered tipped him off quite easily that she'd been waiting for him.

"Nowhere." He said dismissively, whipping the cloak off his shoulders and placing it on the back of a chair. Predictably, her eyes narrowed into slits and she snapped the book shut with a snap. "Down in the Tower again playing games with Daddy?"

The spear-like headache flared to life under his skull again. Mae got up from the divan, unfolding like some sort of wrathful feline. "When are you going to realize that he's never going to give into you Zuko? I'm tired of seeing you go down there day after day and getting nowhere when you could be spending your energies elsewhere!"

"Just let it go okay?" He muttered, moving toward the bathroom.

"You're never going to find her Zuko."

He froze mid stride and turned slowly. She didn't move but something like doubt flickered behind her gaze. She's never seen his eyes burn like that before. "Look if she hasn't shown up by now then she won't, not unless she comes to you." He said nothing. An uncomfortable feeling twitched in her gut but she pressed on. "What about me? What about the proposal, a wedding, producing heirs? You need to stop chasing after a ghost and focus on your kingdom." She said all of this without the least blush. Zuko still stood there like a coiled spring staring at her like he could burn holes through her.

"I think you need to go visit your mother." He said calmly. Mae's eye's widened slightly. "What are you talking about? You need me here, I'm not going anywh-"

"Go." He snarled. She flinched for a split second but recovered almost instantly. "I see." She let the book drop to the floor as if she were calmly placing it where a table should have been and began to move around the room, gathering things as she went. They'd been fighting more viciously than usual for the past six months and every time Mae felt the desire to get out of Zuko's presence she'd go visit her mother. After a particularly nasty argument he'd suggested it on his own and "Go visit your mother for a while" became code for "Get the fuck away from me for a week before I rip your throat out". He stood there now practically vibrating with anger as she gathered her things and moved calmly towards the door. She paused once and turned around to face him and for a split second he thought she was going to apologize. Maybe she was finally going to bite back her pride for him and say she was sorry for destroying the one thing he still had faith in. But that hope vanished.

"I don't know when I'll be back." She told him. He flinched.

"You know I'm not ready to marry you." He said quietly. She didn't blinked and closed the door behind her with a slam. He waited until he was sure she would be down in the palace carriage house before swearing thunderously and letting flames spin out of his fingertips like rain. Luckily nothing caught fire. He stumbled out onto the balcony, really not looking and leaned over the railing, his head in his hands. Mae had always told him from day one that his search for his mother was going to be fruitless. If Ursa wanted to be found, she would come forward to see her son on her own. Mae was focused on more courtly matters; the repair of the Fire Nation, court politics, marriage, children. She didn't understand that every time she said Ursa would come forward on her own, it was as good as saying his mother didn't care about him enough to seek him out. He couldn't believe that, not after everything Ozai had done, not after Azula. He refused to accept that everyone in his family was either evil, beyond help, or didn't care about him at all. He traced the dry, marred patch of flesh where his father had burned him so many years ago. If his mother would have been there, that wouldn't have happened. Ursa had stood in the way of everything Ozai wanted of that he was sure. His mother was out there somewhere, and she needed help. Something deep down told him she was still in Ozai's clutches. Somehow, hell or high water, he was going to find out.

….

**I know that this has been a long time coming but I beg the forgiveness of my readers (if they haven't all left already). I have moved probably four times in the last thirty days and NaNoWriMo came and went and life has really gotten in the way of me writing anything, let alone a fanfic. So I give you all my sincerest apologies. I hope you enjoyed it, Please review so I can get better at what I love to do!**

**~Luminosity**


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